And I don’t mean anal partners. All of them.
I am 54 and my current girlfriend is only the 4th woman in my life I have sex with.
I am old fashioned and never looked for one night stands or never simply wanted to empty my balls. For me sex always needed connection first. Without connection my cock fails me.
So I wonder if there are more people (especially men) who are like me.
Haven’t had any, but I do agree with you in the sense that for sex, it’s really important to be in connection with your partner.
I know there’re tons of sex workers in my area and I could just pay for it, but I have many reasons why not to do it and one of them is connection: I’d rather lose my virginity with someone I love instead of losing it out of desperation.
No connection is like eating a really delicious meal but with no appetite and not being hungry.
I’m 19 and had 3 boyfriends before finding the most amazing bloke in the world. None of my exes could even come close to him, I’m a lucky gal
I need a connection, too, though not necessarily a romantic one. I need to feel trust and like we’re on a similar wave length, speaking each other’s language.
Before meeting my girlfriend, I had sex with six people I think, but we’re both exploring outside our relationship as well. I would say she’s still the one, though, and I dare say it’s mutual.
I know a handful of sex workers and respect their decision to work in this field.
I would never pay for sex, though, not because I think it’s wrong to do so, but because I love the connection and interplay of lust, desire and creativity between two (or more) people who are having sex.
Paying for sex act A1, B23 and Y4 would feel like masturbation with a person present, not like sex, I think.
I’m polyamorous, so for me there isn’t really “the one”, but before meeting my girlfriend I’d slept with about 22 people. My girlfriend and I have a connection I’ve never felt with any other sexual partner before though, and we’ve been able to explore me being anal-only more than with any other partner! While we do have oral sex occasionally, we try to focus any stimulation I receive to be anal. I don’t enjoy vaginal penetration at all so it’s entirely off the table.
My lover and I have anal sex too, but usually I’m topping her (vaginally) and we don’t do anal that often, and our relationship is a lot more casual.
My husband is my first. But thanks to him, until now, we played with about ten girls after I found him, and currently we often play with three. I can’t say the number wouldn’t increase, but I bet there wouldn’t to many new players.
I think I’m just realizing, at 23, with my current boyfriend, how sex can be better with a deep romantic connection.
Before him, I don’t think I was ever truly in love. Even with my first love, whom I met at 15 and left at 17 because he cheated on me.
I think after that first breakup, I went a little crazy. The cheating hurt, and I think I subconsciously decided to keep sex to myself and close myself off to feelings and love.
I started enjoying sex freely with any guy I liked. So I had sex with a lot of guys before meeting my current boyfriend. I tried to remember them all so I could count them, and it’s not that easy, even though I keep a diary that can help my memory. I’ve come up with a total of 61, which scares me a little.
Solid advice from an old dude: don’t tell your boyfriend the score. It will alter the way he sees you and mostly not in a good way.
@Vanessa did you have anal sex with many of them ?
I have no intention of telling him all this. Certainly not. He only knows about my first love and the four guys who have been my “boyfriends” since. I put that in quotes because, for me, I never considered them lire real boyfriends, just sex friends. I know many might blame me for that, but I cheated on them all easily.
And I definitely don’t want my actual boyfriend to find out about that!!!
I’ve had anal sex with most of them actually. I’d say 2/3. Since my first anal experience at 17, anal sex has been a big part of my sex life. However, I rarely have anal sex on a first date, and some of the guys I’ve had sex with were one-night stands.
I don’t want to shame you in any way, but did you get tested for STIs at some point? 61 is quite a lot, and a lot of STIs have made a come back in the recent decades for various reasons.
And while anal is fun, it also has a higher risk of STI transmission than most practices.
Be safe!
Even though I’ve had a somewhat wild sex life in that regard, I’ve always been sufficiently aware of the risks, as I see them. I’m adamant about using condoms for vaginal or anal penetration. I’ve also often gotten tested. In case of doubt, before stopping condom use with a “boyfriend,” but also because I love blowjobs but I don’t like condoms in this case.
In any case, thank you for the question and the interest, because shame or not, the risk is real, and getting tested is generally good advice.
I know a body count of 61 is quite high, but seeing your reactions, I wonder if that’s extreme or not? I’m asking because I know there are a lot of experienced people here.
I’m 54 with a bodycount of 4. So yes, to me it’s extreme and it would change the way I see someone if I found out.
My wife had 5 sexual contacts including me. She did one one night stand and never again because like me, she needs emotional connection to have sex.
You can take a look here:
Keep in mind that his data is self-reported, and if you’re really curious, also see how big the sample sizes are.
With 61 partners, you would be an outlier for sure. There always will be outliers, though, so in that regard, being on the extreme end of a spectrum is normal in itself, too.
I’m on #4 right now, though I’m also a little younger than you if it helps. I think what’s most important is that you are safe. Guys sometimes talk about “body count”, but I think guys hung up on that are usually gross anyways.
Yeah, it’s important you’re safe, you’re happy, and everyone involved consents to what happens.
Well, I have confirmation of what I thought. A body count of 61 at age 23 is a lot. Yet I don’t feel like I’ve been that crazy. Over the past six years, that’s only about ten new guys a year, without trying to justify it.
Yes, I’m careful about being safe. I didn’t want to get into a romantic relationship for fear of suffering, but on the other hand, I’m hypersexual. I love sex, I need it every day. One day without sex and I go crazy.
To be fulfilled, I needed several sex friends and I needed to find new ones constantly. And since I like rough, wild sex, sometimes with a bit of extreme sex like double penetration, it’s not always easy to find guys who satisfy me or who agree to fuck me 2 in the same time.
Aah, the real sexually active woman. Every man dreams about her, hardly any man can keep up with her when he has her 
I hope your boyfriend has stamina 
Should I take that as a compliment?
Yes, my boyfriend does a great job. He makes love to me every day, and now he knows how and which buttons to press to give me lot and strong orgasms.
This is one of the many reasons why I am so in love.
Have a grand total of 1 sexual partner*.
*Terms and conditions may apply… 