Hi all,
I came across anal in porn when I was 16. I’ve pretty muched only watched anal porn since then (I’m 35 now). I’ve only had anal sex once. It was with my current girlfriend of 7 years. I couldn’t believe it was happening while we were doing it and absolutely loved it. I don’t have much hope that she will grow to love anal. I’ve thought about seeking a partner who specifically likes it in her butt. In the meantime I do use my fingers on my girlfriend’s butt, trying to find ways that she likes. I ask her about what I’ve done occassionally and she generally reports that fingers back there felt alright but that’s about it.
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Hi, Welcome to our forum. There are a lot of people here with diverse experiences and provide lots of advice. It looks like you and your girlfriend are in the contemplative phase and that can be the first steps. I was the one in our relationship who wanted to explore anal. This forum encouraged me to experiment more. One person told me that the anal orgasm was incredible. I was sceptical at first and it felt like we were looking for the Holy Grail, then one evening my boyfriend nailed it. Do you speak about your desire to explore anal sex? For a lot of people it is unnerving so your girlfriend is not on her own.
I wish you every joy on your anal journey and hope you find what you are looking for. Join in, share and learn.
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Yes, she knows that I am interested in it, turned on by it, and regularly seek it out in porn. We don’t have a particularly sexual relationship in general, though. I am regularly interested in having sex, she much less often. I think if we had sex more often then there’d be more interest in exploring and trying new things. But since we have sex something like once per week or less, we stick to a handful of basic moves.
Because you have 7 years invested in this relationship, I recommend you have a serious discussion with your girlfriend about your strong desire for anal sex. Let her know how important it is to you as well as finding ways to please her in bed. Try licking her ass in addition to teasing her hole with fingers and toys. Many here, including myself, are happy to help guide you in your anal quest.
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I will echo Colt’s advice. As a girl, I love nothing more than having my ass stroked gently and a little bit of digital pressure on my ring! Then, suggest licking her ass, using your tongue to apply a little more pleasure. Hopefully she will guide your cock in slowly. Of course this will follow the frank and open discussion about your desires
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We have talked about it a few times but maybe I’ll bring it up again sometime soon. She did ask me to lick her asshole the other night and she seemed to like that. I’ll try that again.
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Help her learn the pleasure associated with anal play. Even though we’ve been anal only for years, I will lick and play with her ass until she begs me to fuck it. If you can help her achieve anal orgasm, you will be well on your way to enjoying anal sex. You can rub her clit, or encourage her to rub it, during anal play. My wife’s anal orgasms are incredible which make mine that much better as well. Be patient. It’s a journey that takes some time but with a handsome reward.
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I’ve been following your all’s advice and have been gently massaging around her butthole, occasionally licking it while going down on her. She seems to be taking to some anal penetration as she’s asked for the butt plug twice. Exciting! I’d like to try pulling the plug out slowly and inserting it slowly a few times and see if she likes that.
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Try some plug play. My wife enjoys the stretch of insertion and removal. Start small and work your way up to a diameter that feels best. She doesn’t squirt as much as she did when we first started anal, but our large glass and stainless plugs make her squirt every time. Try some plug play and let us know how it goes!
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See if you can get her to suck it after its been in her butt. That was my first atm
hahaha, yeah, I don’t see that happening in the near future 
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Initially, Mrs Colt was reluctant to try ass to mouth. As I’ve mentioned many times, I’m not all that interested in oral sex so while the occasional ass to mouth is erotic but not essential in our sexual encounters… however to make her more comfortable with the notion, I would pull the plug out of her ass, lick it, and have her lick it with me. It helped her understand that her ass is clean enough to lick and suck a toy or my cock. The act of licking or sucking a plug, fingers, or cock that was in her ass is very erotic.
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Of course I was only joking with you but for me ATM is one of the most intimate things I can do. There are elements of submission attached but it also shows my devotion to my boyfriend. Yes it could be seen as gross but for me its fun!
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I also echo Colt911’s advice about having a serious conversation with your long-time girlfriend (which it sounds like you may have now done).
I got to that point myself. I absolutely wanted to remain with my wife, but I was also very unfulfilled and frustrated by the lack of some types of sexual activity. I was to the point where I was ready to ask for her “permission” for me to seek such activity with other partners if that was the only option left to me.
I did not know where our conversation was going to go or what the outcome was going to be. It could have been really bad. But I was really unhappy and I had to speak up for my needs and desires.
I was shocked and amazed that the conversation went very well. She took my concerns seriously. She was willing to continue to discuss what we could do differently and how to arrange our lives more in a way that more sex and more sexual exploration was made a priority.
It was a situation that perhaps had to get to the point (not good) it had gotten to, but I now wonder “what if I had spoken up years ago?”
In any case, my advice would be: In a sharing and loving way, directly tell your partner know what you need, what makes you happy – don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself. Be very clear; don’t expect your partner to understand needs that you have not said aloud in words. Be equally open to – and regularly ask about – your partner’s needs and desires. As long as there is “progress”, be flexible about the pace at which the progress develops, but keep gently making the progress happen.
And remember: “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody gonna be happy!”
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I too wish I had expressed my desires and concerns much earlier in our relationship. Some of her reluctance to try anal was the impact birth control meds had on her libido. Like you, things changed for the better and she realizes how much she enjoys our anal only relationship. Patience isn’t just a virtue… it’s an absolute necessity when introducing your partner to anal pleasure.
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I had to be patient with my boyfriend before we started our anal journey. He was reluctant to try anal sex. It took quite a bit of persuasion. Now he’s always wanting it
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I would say any woman wanting to try/do anal with a reluctant man only has to keep trying. She shall eventually win him over! I know I was, and once I was, I became obsessed with her arse.
I look back and wonder what held me back. It was all that societal conditioning, Soddom and Gemorah, bibical wrath, deviation, perversion and a bunch of negative connotations. Which in the end were either misinformation, misguided or mistaken. It’s just a matter of unpacking all of that and eliminating it.
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As a devout atheist I have have done a bit of biblical study. The wrath of God for me enjoying anal sex makes me want it more. I bet he’s even more pissed off when I enjoy the anal pleasure of 2 cocks!
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“Just keep trying” sounds a bit like “just keep pushing” to me, that’s why I want to add that, no matter the person’s gender, concerns are valid. And if someone’s really not into something, wanting to change that can be problematic.
I hear you. I’m fairly sure that, if anything, I’ve erred on the side of not pushing/asking. Whenever I think about asking for or expressing interest in anal I feel like the stereotypical dude pushing for anal from an uninterested and non-consenting woman. But the woman that I earlier called my girlfriend (our relationship is much more complicated than that) has recently been more receptive to anal play. She’s even said she enjoys the extra sensation. So I’m pretty excited