What I was suggesting was a bit more nuanced than just keep pushing. What do they say? Insanity is repeating the same activity and hoping to get a different result.
The “unpacking” is about understanding what the barriers are, and that’s the key; understanding. With understanding, that is, understanding of your partner, you can determine whether it is something that can be changed or not.
It’s not too different to discussing whether someone is open to a change of location when purchasing real estate, which is another big lifestyle decision. I can think of heaps of analogies, like marriage too. Sometimes it’s a “no” because it’s something you lack and with improvement it could become a “yes”. So by trying I did not mean forcing.
Here’s my take… first off, I’m a believer but not partial to or part of any particular religion. The creation of the universe is just too mind boggling to adequately explain in scientific terms. Mrs Colt and I have had paranormal experiences involving deceased relatives. And no, this wasn’t the result of a flashback from bad acid I might have dropped in the 70’s.
I refuse to believe being born into the wrong religion prevents one from heaven or an afterlife. What merciful God would do such a thing? Also, what merciful God creates human beings that experience sexual pleasure and then punishes them for engaging in sexually pleasurable acts. Even if you don’t believe in God, any reasonable human being can agree sexual pleasure requires the consent of one or more adults. I guess you’d call masturbation “implied consent”. To further clarify, consent necessarily excludes the dead (necrophilia), animals (bestiality), and children (pedophilia). Beyond that, who gives a fuck if you have sex with any number of people of either or both genders?
As someone with strong libertarian leanings, the only thing I’d offer is to take responsibility for your own poor decisions. Sadly, there is some risk to having unprotected sex. Before I met my wife, I’d have sex with as many willing women as possible. On two occasions I contracted syphilis and a really big shot of penicillin in my ass took care of the problem. Did I blame the women I slept with? No. Those bad decisions were entirely on me.
In short, I believe a merciful God would never punish someone for acting within reasonable limitations in satisfying the sexual desires that God created in all humans. My two cents for what it is worth.
I hear that! I grew up thinking I was a some sort of deviant because I was attracted to hot guys and “girls aren’t visual”. Then I got married and thought it was confirmed as I enjoyed giving my husband blow jobs. Then I learned women do have sex drives, attraction isn’t lust, and all that messaging was reactionary unbiblical bilge. And here I am six years later rebuilding/discovering what I like sexually, loving anal sex, and having zero guilt over it.
I believe our sex life continues to improve because of age and experience. The visual of two people in their upper 60’s engaging in all manner of sex may not be appealing (unless you’re the couple in their upper 60’s), but our sex life has never been better in 43 years of marriage.
It sounds like you and Mr Firefly are well on your way to developing an extraordinary sexual relationship. No one really wants to get older, but sex actually can get better as you both age. Enjoy the journey. It’s awesome.
