As many of you already have (and maybe be tired of hearing from me), but I’m still virgin since I’ve never engaged in any sexual activity besides masturbation of my penis, but I assume many other future couples (not in one, tho) may be in the same place as me.
Since you have a load more of experience, I wondered what are your thoughts on encouraging next generations to start straight into anal only. Would you recommend it right from the start or start first with vaginal and then slowly move towards it? Is it recommended to start this way? How would you approach it, both from the perspective of you encouraging it and from the perspective of the one of the couple proposing it?
I’d like to hear your answers.
I’ll continue reading and trying to find books about anal sexuality.
1 Like
Personally I think that anal sex is perfect for teens to start with.
So, there we have it. This reason on itself is reason enough to do only anal sex, combined with oral of course.
More reasons:
- The joy is better then vaginal
- The asshole is always ready to receive cock
- The joy is at least there, but can be breathtaking
- It causes a deeper connection
1 Like
This is a complicated question and goes to the issue of informed consent and safety in a relationship.
Let’s start by acknowledging that young people are going to explore sexuality and have sex - that’s a given.
I believe in a thorough sex education program for youth that explores sexuality in all forms but prioritizes the issue of consent, being able to say “no” and having young men respect that. Don’t be a damn abusive monster.
That being said, a sex positive education program would include that it’s ok to explore any non-exploitative (e.g. no kids, no animals) sexual acts either alone or with a partner. This would include safe anal sex.
Removing religious morality and judgement and supporting healthy, consensual exploration would allows for people to learn what they like or even learn to like. Based on conversations with a lot of female friends leads me to believe that their first sex is often nit great - due to lack of knowledge or even male manipulation. But experience and confidence changes that.
So a good education program around anal sex would include information that many people enjoy anal sex, and why (including non hormonal birth control which was a decision for my wife and I in our journey) how to do it right, especially for beginners, access to lube and condoms, etc.
I remember that back in high school and 7th-9th grade, we would have an event called “the sexuality week”, in which we would have talks and activities related to sexual education. I clearly remember that most of these talks (like 50%) were about dealing and preventing sexual abuse. And of course, talks about always using condom and how to wear one, contraceptives and birth control, STDs, anatomy and gender identity.
At first, the talks were a bit more reserved, but as time passed and we got older and the times changed, the talks became more open. Man, they even put an animation of various fancy ways to put a condom on and also showed (drawn) various vagina shapes. They tried to unstigmatize sex and masturbation to some extend. I’m pretty sure they talked about intimacy and importance of communications, but maybe I didn’t pay enough attention (those talks took hours).
But of course, the talks were more towards vaginal sex, maybe a bit about oral and just occasionally mentioning that anal sex existed. And if they really went into it, was just to remind us that it is dangerous and that’s it.
I had to learn all this business of anal sex by my own, and now I feel a bit more accepted (at least in this community), that my feelings and fantasies towards anal sex are not weird. thx.
I think most of us felt weird about our preference to anal sex. Nothing new there.
Even when my girlfriend suggested to try that “anal only lifestyle” I found on the internet, it felt weird abandoning pussy sex. I was quite certain she would not do it for long and would ask me to also use her pussy on occasions.
The opposite happened. Everytime my cock slipped to her pussy, she’d pull back very fast and say “NO, wrong hole”, really watching over it her pussy did NOT get my cock. She made clear by her actions that she only wanted to be assfucked.
It was me who had to make the mental transition to accepting she really gave up pussy sex because she didn’t want to have her pussy fucked anymore. Pussy sex never gave her the satifaction she gets from anal sex. Her asshole is made to be fucked. 
As for books, try getting an electronic copy of “Anal pleasure and Health” by Jack Morrin. It’s the best book on sexuality in general I’ve read so far, even though its main focus is anal sexuality, of course. Written by a medical practitioner, too.
As for “how should young people start”, well … I think you’re forgetting the obvious. Before you can embark on your journey, you need a partner. And if that partner is not interested in vaginal sex and wants to go straight to anal, and you agree, you do that. If not, you do it another way. Could be, penetrative sex isn’t an issue at all, because you literally just want to drink tea for half a year. Or cuddle. Or just do oral in various forms.
What I’m trying to say is, sexuality is a journey of two (or more) people, and you’ll have to discover the route it goes with your specific partner. That, too, is what consent is about, finding out what feels right for all involved. And that can be so, so many things.
1 Like
I found a copy in archive.org that I can borrow for an 1 hour and read the first chapter and oh boy, the information I found there is gold.
Also, I’m interested in the question on how to encourage the next generations into AO right from the beginning.
Glad you like it!
As for encouraging the next generation: Meh. Let them come to us. Your kink’s not my kink but your kink’s okay. No need to preach to those who don’t want to hear it.
2 Likes
I wish I had my vaginal virginity still and did anal from the beginning. I would encourage every young woman to not loose their virginity so easy …when I was young it was a disease to cure asap and no one took you seriously unless you had popped your cherry
I’ve read of many women that wish they have started straight with anal and never to have lost their vaginal virginity.
Still, I need a bigger demography to make sure this is a generalized truth and not just some facts to some.
I salute your quest for empirical truth, but what does it really matter here? You are not going to have a first time with the general populace, so knowing if your first partner wants it should be enough, right?
Or are you trying to ascertain if starting with anal is generally the right thing for everyone? If so, why?
I think I’m just being way too curious.
If y’all feel thwt my questions may be taking a path like this, feel free to DM me to stop.
You can ask all the questions you want, I just wanted to remind you that sexuality is a deeply personal topic.
Also, empirical research is notoriously difficult to do. You want to find out about attitudes towards anal sex? It’s harder to get funding than trying to find a new species of beetle, for example.
This is a good place to ask these questions but it’s just to a small demographic.
The general public will have different ideas
Everyone has different tastes and interests. Fortunately, what happens between two or more consenting adults is nobody’s concern in a growing number of societies.
We happen to love anal as much as others love vaginal penetration. I’d simply tell a young person to be open minded and decide for themselves what gives them pleasure. I’d never coerce anyone into adopting an anal only lifestyle but I could certainly tell people how it changed our sex life forever.
1 Like
Yeah, I did notice that.
Sorry, my curious and scientific part just kicked in.
The same way I can encourage people to listen to heavy metal but not force them to, I can encourage them to try anal, tho I cannot force them.
1 Like
Exactly. And you preferring heavy metal does not make it per se superior to other genres of music.
It’s not all relative though, either, and we can discuss those differences. Like there’re pretty good numbers out there that women who practice anal sex cum much more often than women who don’t. This doesn’t prove anal is in any way superior, it could just mean women who are more adventurous in bed have more orgasms. But yeah, I think you catch my drift.
I was 16 when I lost my vaginal and anal virginity. I was with an older and more experienced boyfriend. I initially preferred oral sex and that was our primary form of sex for a few months. He was always suggesting vaginal and anal sex. I was too nervous to accept anal sex. I found it very intimidating so I had to be very imaginative to satisfy my now ex-boyfriend. In the meantime I started anal training and got my ass ready as a birthday present for him! Honestly, I did not enjoy it. He didn’t listen to me or make sure I was ok. We had anal sex a couple of times but it didn’t get any better so we parted ways. With Dale we were Oral Only for 3 months however our relationship developed and I soon trusted him. My first anal experience with my ex was so different to my first with Dale. He showed me love, patience and care for my wellbeing which made the event 1 million times better. I would have been AO from the start although I don’t think my body had developed well enough. I’m now 19 and loving AO. Would I recommend it from the start? I would say ‘no’. The intimacy and the pleasure that I enjoy now, would not be there at the beginning.
1 Like
Yeah, you also have to consider the psycological aspect of it: if you feel like it’s not gonna work, that you don’t like it, that you’re being forced to, etc, then you’re not gonna enjoy it and (probably), will hate it and perform badly.
Maybe that’s the reason I cannot learn to sing properly (my teacher told me the same).
But once you feel you’re loved, heard, that you feel confident and so on, you’ll have the best moment of your life.
That’s the importance of intimacy and communication.
1 Like
Depending on which metal music you are talking about! If you are talking about old-school Norwegian Black Metal - Bathory, Gorgoroth or Merciful Fate then yes yes yes!!