What a refreshing manifestation of marriage you have. I have become way more appreciative of the possibilities for experiencing sexuality, and the possibilities for marital relationships than I would ever have guessed, since being in a committed marriage but not having a sexual relationship with anyone for 20 years. My wife cannot endorse any cock in her life, including mine. I’ve gradually discovered pleasure in a form of auto-eroticism where I have become the female I desire. If my wife finds my cock useless, I’ve found a way for it to be useless and enjoy it. My private sex play has me completely tucked away in a fufu clip, and experiencing stimulation only from anal and vibrator, as a woman would. In some strange way, I find this fulfilling, and carry it on through the day, being tucked and flat in a g-string thong. I use all the excess energy for exercise and bodybuilding, to make myself more feminine and attractive, to what end I don’t know. It simply makes me enjoy myself. It’s interesting to notice what a fringe person I’ve become, by being married but having no sexual partner. Your marriage sounds fantastic to me, at this point in my life.
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I’m glad you found your way to self pleasure dear! I do a lot of solo play myself as I have a very intense libido and I’m constantly horny and can only state that knowing yourself and your own bodily pleasures is one of the best things one can do as self care.