People today are so shameless and this feels so annoying to me

Just a rant. I don’t feel fine with today’s utter lack of shame. When I watch porn, I do it just to release the tension because I have no other option, but I don’t really feel too good afterwards. Sometimes during the day I feel ashamed because of the things I have seen at night and I also feel ashamed for the people who gladly presented themselves in such utter indignity and degradation. I really feel ashamed for being a member of this species, the human species. Now you’re gonna ask “why then are you posting in this forum?” Ok I think it’s one thing to discuss these things annonimally and with all due respect and decorum, but the levels of insanity we see from people, men and women, it looks like we all are now just walking and talking penises, vaginas and anuses. It really takes a toll on me. Sex is supposed to be a private thing, yes it’s no problem if it’s not vanilla but this being kept just between the couple, but nowadays it’s so much open for everyone to see each other indulging in every perversion imaginable or conceivable that I feel like we have just lost all respect for ourselves. This not to mention the terrible consequences of this to our behaviors, thinking and sense of humanity. I know many of you are going to dislike this post but I felt that need to rant, that’s it, thank you.

You are right, all kinds of sexual acts are available, at all times, for your viewing pleasure online.
If viewing them, however, does not please you, avert your eyes!

What makes you come back to those depictions? If watching them does not mesh with your personal morals, please don’t criticise the people who produce them for making them available to you. Most do it precisely because there is an interest, a market out there, of which you (even as a free viewer) are a part of. Eyeballs on the product/ad means generated interest and more sales.
So if you want performers doing less extreme stuff, don’t watch the extreme stuff. It won’t make it go away, sure, but you will no longer drive up the demand for it.

But, that being said: Even before the internet, all kinds of “perversions”, as you call them, happened. There was and there probably is a lot more “heavy stuff” going on without cameras rolling than there is stuff being streamed. It’s part of human nature to experiment with and enjoy our bodies. Whether that’s between two, three or more people, as long as everyone consents, there need not be any shame in it. We have, after all, all been born from an expression of affection between people (well, hopefully at least, there’s still way too much coercion in the world).

If I were you, I would take a long, hard look at your own feelings and attitudes towards sexuality. Those who find shame in the acts of others usually have a lot of that pent up in their own minds.

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I don’t get your rant at all.

This is why:

For as long as I remember there are things in porn I dispise: fisting, gaping, rosebud, rape, puke, shit, pain, BDSM in general go name some that come to mind.

So when looking for porn I always used the correct search term, like:

Gentle anal
Ass to mouth brunette
Couple anal

And yes, some of the results will be extreme, I skip them cause you just need to look at the tags to know. So as @aNewFrivolity says this is something you can avoid easily.

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Yes ok, thank you guys, it was a rant, maybe I was a little over the top and I realize this. I don’t like watching extreme stuff but every now and then I click in a video and see things I don’t feel confortable with. Just what happens with everybody, right? I’m worried because I feel like so many people nowadays are “pussy adicts”, and so many girls and women do only fans and stuff like that. Maybe the problem isn’t the porn, but a hyper focus on sex that exists nowadays. Maybe I’m uneasy but I don’t know for sure what’s causing my disconfort. Thank you.

Personally, I’m more concerned about those causing physical harm to others than what’s depicted in porn. My libertarian views mean whatever happens between two or more CONSENTING ADULTS should be at the discretion of those persons. I may not find such content appealing but as @aNewFrivolity mentioned, I simply ignore the content.

We have a member who has chosen to reject porn. He’s active in this group but doesn’t condemn porn, he’s simply made a personal decision not to view any porn without any judgment on those who produce or watch porn. My only exceptions or “rules” are porn must never involve murder (snuff porn), children, and non-consenting adults.

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… or other life forms (animals) that can’t consent?

That’s another big no no for me, otherwise, I agree with you.

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It never occurred to me to include animals, although you could argue animals are incapable of giving consent which is one of my “rules”.

Mrs Colt and I watched an episode of a crime series The Jetty in which a teenage girl jacked off a horse. We
Enjoyed the series but felt that scene was over the top. It didn’t show the act explicitly but we both felt it was totally unnecessary.

Well, you said “consenting adults”, and I felt that didn’t include animals, necessarily. I didn’t mean to insinuate anything, though.

I remember reading an account, possibly on the old site, about a guy who was fucked by a horse and then died several hours later of internal bleeding having been ripped apart by the horse.

The only thing more bizarre was the dude in Germany whose “sexual fetish” was to be killed and eaten by another person.

Our anal-centric community is rather mainstream and bland compared to some people’s fetishes.

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For me legality, capacity and consent are 3 key aspects of any form of sex. Bestiality hasn’t been suggested thankfully and will remain so!!

I agree with @Backdoorlover, there are some genres of porn I don’t like but I’m sill accepting of them if it’s consensual…just doesn’t do anything for me. The extreme stuff like fisting, gaping, prolapse, BDSM, poop, puke, and even the pissing. I don’t mind a little pee myself if we do it in the shower but not spraying it all over the bedroom lol. The BDSM stuff I was curious about when I was younger and got into it a little bit but discovered I didn’t like the pain aspect. I even dated a dominatrix for a bit who loved anal…she’s a guy now :face_with_monocle: As a glass toy maker, I partnered with a really talented leather worker for a while who would use my plugs as handles for his floggers. I thought they looked great and he did a fantastic job but I kinda didn’t want to be associated with that because most of my customers aren’t into that and view it…and me… differently. So after a few years I parted ways with him, I was really busy with my own stuff anyway. But yea, there’s some sick stuff out there. I’ve seen some crazy euro videos of animals…chickens, pigs, horses, eels, dogs, and some brutal bondage stuff. Mutilation also. I don’t get it, other than the shock value like watching gore videos. I guess some people really get off on that stuff? Hey, as long as you’re not hurting animals or anybody who doesn’t want to be in the situation. If you don’t like it, don’t watch it :upside_down_face:

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I’ll be the odd man out here - you’re not wholly wrong. There is a hyper fixation on sex and sexualizing everything to the point of effecting and ruining even non sexual things. When you say some people seem like pussy addicts, it’s because they are. Sex defines their world and they can’t focus on other things unless sex is involved somehow.

Porn has always been a thing and humans have always loved sex, but once upon a time and not that long ago, what people did in bed was considered private and people generally didn’t show off their genitalia for literally the entire world to see. Now, for as much as I’m of the opinion that normalizing healthy sexual discussion needs to take place, I personally see a huge difference between something like this where we’re talking largely shared preferences, tips, and so on, versus giving a gratuitous play by play of our most recent sexual escapade or literally bringing a camera to bed and recording it and then sharing it for the world to see. Big difference.

As well, the modern porn industry is what funds global sex trafficking. I’ve heard rumors that ethical porn exists, but I wouldn’t have a clue where to find it. Perhaps part of the unease you’re feeling is a gut instinct that what you’re viewing isn’t necessarily consensual…?

Ethical, consensual or not, if what you’re viewing bothers you, don’t. You’re not obligated to watch porn. I realize the majority of people do watch porn, but that’s the joy of being individuals - we can make independent decisions and do or not do things simply because we like it or we don’t. Maybe you’re just losing your taste for it, maybe it’s conscious, maybe it’s some other reason, but if it’s bothering you, maybe hit pause on viewing it. Think it all over a bit and see where it takes you.

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I think here, we have to ask what is causing what. Is the pornography available leading to more and more pornography, or would people always have acted like that if they could?

Not too long ago, camera equipment was expensive, and editing movies a cumbersome process.
Nowadays, you can do it all on your phone, and there are a lot of platforms that help the individual creators with reach and distribution and handling of transactions.

I’m not saying I think pornography is a blessing, but we do live in a hypercapitalist society and you can make, relatively easily at that, a lot of money by showing skin and more. Can you blame people for going that route, when working conditions become worse and worse elsewhere, and the technology is easily available?

As for “porn is funding sex traficking”, I don’t believe it and haven’t seen a credible source for that, yet. The same is said of prostitution, a claim regularly refuted by prostitutes and their unions as well. It’s, as far as I can tell, a conservative claim with which they aim to illegalise prostitution and pornography.
And the backwards thing for me about that is this: Human traficking is already illegal. Help the victims, don’t punish the people doing the job willingly. The more open and regulated any business is, the easier it is to find the bad apples.
Make it illegal, and all the demand will go to the shadowy, sleazy actors and back alleys. And then you get more of the bad you claim to be fighting.

It seems like such a knee-jerk reaction of sweeping under the rug what you don’t like, and making a show of being holier-than-thou.

All that being said: I don’t care much for pornography, and I can’t ever see me paying for sex.
Keep in mind though: Places like ours here would be shut down by certain conservatives as well. We all gain from a liberal society, that values and protects personal autonomy in one’s private life.

Oh, as for ethical porn: Generally, it’s not on tube sites, unless indie creators use it for advertisement.
Search for “feminist” or “ethical porn” and see what comes up. People who make that usually have their own sites.

If memory from a talk of some friends of mine in the industry serves, Erika Lust (a director) might be a good place for you to start.

[quote=“aNewFrivolity, post:13, topic:522, full:true”]
I think here, we have to ask what is causing what. Is the pornography available leading to more and more pornography, or would people always have acted like that if they could?[/quote]

I reckon we’ve got a half decent answer to be found in the Rome. I believe it was during the empire (but possibly late republic) that an emperor (or the senator at the time) issued a set of coins with “piety” on them and whichever goddess to remind them of their virtues because he deemed the empire losing their faith(s) in the gods and becoming too hedonistic. Long story short, his campaign didn’t really work.

I think what the answer is - as cultures become less religious they become more hedonistic. Pornography is merely a symptom. If humans are left to their own devices without some sort of religious moral structure being generally held and/or followed by all and guiding the culture at large, then what we see is this. It’s always been there for the individuals that want it, but you don’t see it as a culture wide phenomenon that is generally accepted and even promoted openly until you have a culture that’s lost it’s religious moorings.

Oh, and I thoroughly agree about the knee-jerk reaction. It’s a nice looking gesture, but again, pornography isn’t the problem, it’s the symptom. But that’s politicians for you - instead of enforcing laws already on the books, they’d rather write more laws and look productive while doing nothing but waste time and tax dollars.

I politely disagree, but respect your opinion. In my view, religion is, at its best, an outward, societal expression of faith. At its worst, it’s an ossified mask and tool for the power hungry.
If religion itself functioned as a stopgap for the amoral kind of hedonism, we wouldn’t go from one scandal to the next, of priests from all religions being found guilty of (sexual) abuse, often of the most vulnerable people in our society.
I’d argue that a lack of meaning in one’s life will lead to the amoral kind of hedonism; faith can create such meaning.

As for “regular” hedonism: I can find nothing wrong with enjoying what our life and bodies have to offer. As long as no one is getting hurt, I see no moral reason not to find out exactly what one enjoys.

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Well, the sort of religiosity I’m referring to here would be more cultural and act more like a commonly accepted societal code of conduct with a built in (non government based) reward/punishment incentive based in something supernatural vs actual expression of faith. And I don’t really disagree with your point of view, at least at first brush. I’m still mulling it over. But I think cultural anthropologists and the like debate this sort of thing, so I’m not too worried about us reaching a firm consensus.:sweat_smile:

I was referring more to the amoral sort of hedonism. I’m personally of the opinion God gave us senses so we could enjoy them and I endeavor to do so as much as I (reasonably) can. Which is why I’m here. :laughing:

Anyway, I’ve enjoyed this conversation!

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Likewise! It’s always stimulating to be exposed and respond to a thought-out but different opinion than one’s own, without any pressure to adapt to it or change it.

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Please run for office! So true.

You just list some of my most frequently used search keywords :rofl: