I’ve always had a preference for anal ever since I was young, that fascination with bums and anuses started from an early age. I’ve tried to ‘train’ myself into not liking it out of shame but that hasn’t worked. I’m just accepting now that this is something I highly desire and want more of. I find it difficult as I’m attracted to women but I don’t see myself as being particularly masculine or dominant, so getting my desires across can be difficult. I quite like being anally simulated myself but I’m also drawn to other peoples backsides. I’m almost 30 now but I haven’t lost my virginity, I’ve done sexual things with people, received blowjobs but whenever it’s come to full sex I’ve usually been too drunk. I’ve never met anyone who is actually interested in being in a relationship with me. I feel my interest in anal has held me back, as the societal expectation is vaginal, but when I think about it all I want is anal. Does anyone else have this experience?
Welcome to the group. To answer to your question regarding one’s strong preference for anal, you’re among many friends in this group.
I waited decades to have anal sex with my wife, although I had anal sex with two women when I was in college.
First, you acknowledge alcohol may have been a factor in preventing you from introducing anal to a female partner. If finding a woman who is willing to explore anal with you is important, stay focused and sober.
This has been discussed many times in this group, i.e. how does one find that elusive anal partner? In my case I taught my partner how to enjoy anal to the extent she’s now anal only.
Brevity is not my strong suit and I could drone on and on regarding things you could try. Without providing relationship advice, find a woman you can enjoy a mutually satisfying relationship with. Once you’re both comfortable with each other, SLOWLY (emphasis intended and needed) introduce your partner to light touches of her asshole, or even analingus to get her comfortable with the pleasure associated with these “light” activities.
As things progress, you can slowly and shallowly insert a finger in her ass. This process could take weeks or even months for her to become used to “small” penetrations.
I’ve been out of the dating scene for more than 40 years so I don’t have suggestions on where to find a woman who may be interested in you. Younger members may be able to offer you advice on dating apps and the like, but don’t expect to find your anal partner right away.
While there are some women who may be hoping for a partner to engage in anal sex, I believe it’s much more likely that you’ll need to help a woman find the incredible pleasure associated with anal sex. Many of us here are happy to provide advice and what we’ve learned. We look forward to your contributions to the group. Welcome!
Welcome to the forum @Zerkr!
I feel your pain! It’s not easy, to feel like no one you’ve met is interested in a relationship with you. But I can tell you that, unless you are truly out there on the bell curve, that it’s most probably something in your head and not how things actually are.
On top of what Colt has suggested, I think it might be helpful for you to do something about your self-image. How do you spend your time? Any hobbies or sports you enjoy?
Apart from that, you’ve already been verified, so you can post everywhere now.
Thank you for your in-depth advice. Dating apps can be terrible, many people just stop using them because of the low response rate for men. I’ve had a few experiences that have taught me women can be more open minded than society suggests, it’s just a case of how to find people for us younger people.
Thank for the approval. I’m just figuring out what to do with my time after finally finishing my education. I’ve started going to the gym again after years while job searching.
The gym is great for many reasons. Not the least of which includes libido.
Co-ed sports leagues can be a fun way to meet people that doesn’t include alcohol. Dodgeball, kick ball, that sort of thing. Plus, if you find the right league you don’t even need to be athletically inclined.
When you meet the right woman, the pleasure you give increases the pleasure you get. If you apply that principle in a sexual relationship, your partner may be more open to anal play, and eventually penetration. The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is well worth the effort.