Since this came up in an Intro post, maybe it’s worth discussing seperatly.
My personal perspective is that I don’t see a connection between the two. I realize many dom/sub relations are about anal sex as the dominance. But lets keep kinks out of this discussion. Too many variables there.
I have never been dominant in my ways, but I have always felt like it was my role to provide. Money issues ? I found ways to make more. Something broken ? 9/10 times I was able to fix it. It made me feel valuble and my ex appreciated it.
When I met the woman I’m married to now, she stated she was submissive and needed a man to be in control. That honestly scared me, cause great responsibility comes which such a dynamic. Later she explained that her view on this was not black and white.
So my wife is an overthinker. She can’t stop overthinking everything and her mind is always full on. What she wanted was someone who could ease her mind, by taking over some of the reasons for her overthinking. She needed mental peace, more than anything.
That I can do. That kind of dominance is in par with my core as a man. So now our dynamic is one of respect for male/female behavior in the old fashioned way.
Open the car door for her.
Walk into unknown places first and then guide her in.
Always consider the seating position which suits her needs.
Letting her feel I’m there through subtile touches and physical guidance when called for.
In return I get the kind of woman I’ve never had before.
A will to please
Supportive in nature
Allows me to guide our lives
I have permanent consent to use her sexually
Financial freedom (my ex was the opposite)
This last is where it’s all at. I’ve been in a lifetime marriage with a woman who demasculated me. I thrive now that I have the opposite kind of woman. I feel more appreciated, while my wife feels more at ease.
We both strongly believe all of this adds to our anal only dynamic. Recently she admitted she was afraid she would miss pussy sex when agreeing to go anal only, yet it never happened. Pretty soon she was entirely happy with only having her ass fucked.
So my conclusion is that I’m simply happy having a more traditional woman in my life. While I’ve always considered myself progressive, this contradicts it.
Even if you don’t see it, there is a clear relationship between the penetrating partner and dominance, and the receiving partner and submission. It’s intrinsically linked to sexual activity. But I agree with you: this dynamic is only relevant to the couples who enjoy exploring it.
To me, it’s clear that this doesn’t apply to my relationship. My wife is the owner of her own body: she decides if I can enter her, when it will happen, how long I can stay inside her, and when I can cum. So, who is the dom and who is the sub? But she loves the grounding feeling she gets when she sleeps with me inside her ass. By surrendering me the most vulnerable part of her body, she feels protected, loved, safe, and have the most peaceful sleep. So, if I spend the night being her protector and bodyguard, who is the dom and who is the sub?
My wife is generally speaking more sub minded. But… in case we have some fight or arguement going, I will not even think about doing anything sexual to her. It’s simply something which doesn’t sit well with me. Arguements should be solved before physical love can happen. Call me old fashioned in that sense.
We have talked about the possibility to do the opposite, though. So while we’re in an arguement, simply shove my cock up her ass. She believes it will calm her down and make her comply.
As I ‘ve come to know her, I think she will not take it well and it will simply make the situation worse. So even though she suggested it, I’m reluctant to even try
I had doubts to try, but never acted on it. Which is weird, considering I have her consent.
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This is really very interesting and incredibly related to my case.
My wife suffers from chronic anxiety, her brain is accelerated and she can’t relax easily. If we had an argument and I shoved my cock up her ass, her nervous systems would certainly panic and I would receive the most painful slap possible. That is, if I could even get it in, because her sphincter would be completely closed to me.
But during the night, sleeping inside her, it’s the complete opposite. When I get still, trapped in her colon, the pressure on her internal nerves shuts down her brain, and her anxiety gets a complete reset. Her body knows this better than her conscious brain; it craves my cock and only relaxes after I reach her colon. Anal penetration is a powerful sedative for her.
And to reply on this quote: I am the penetrating one, totally no interest to receive. I want to use her asshole, it’s my whole reason to love anal sex.
