Guilty Fantasies

General
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I’ve been reading Nancy Friday’s My Secret Garden that collect’s women’s sexual fantasies. Many of the themes are really intense, and it got me thinking about my own fantasies. Sometimes I fantasize about really cruel or mean things (I’ve even written some of them down). Then I get ashamed that I would have such gross thoughts. Does anyone else have fantasies that they’re a little ashamed of?

More generally, do you think we shouldn’t fantasize about certain things? The philosopher G.E. Moore argues that a world in which men only contemplated lascivious ideas would be worse than no world at all. It seems to me he’s saying that there’s something bad (though perhaps only a little bit) in imagining bad things, even if we don’t actually act on those fantasies.

I think this is what happens when I’m up too late doing philosophy homework and my mind starts to wander to naughty things.

EDIT: Found a link to the section from Moore’s Principia Ethica § 125: PRINCIPIA ETHICA (1903) by G. E. Moore

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In the past, I used to feel ashamed of certain fantasies, mostly BDSM related. There were days when I was so naughty that I couldn’t avoid watching some cruel porn videos. But gradually I began to understand that some things that turned me on to watch (or to fantasize), didn’t excite me doing it. At first, this became obvious for some sexual positions: it worked well on video, but not for us on practice. Then it became obvious for some practices we tried, like ass spanking and oral sex with whipped cream. Maybe me with another woman, maybe her with another man, then things could be different. But not for the two of us together. We mapped out what worked and what didn’t, and now we experiment with only new things not so far from those we already like.

So, sorry Mr. Moore, I like to fantasize about bad lascivious things, but I know I wouldn’t enjoy to act on those fantasies.

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Anal play and sex completely satisfies our fantasies. My wife was really turned on when we watched a scene where the woman was riding a cock in her ass and another woman was licking her pussy, but this will never happen. I admit the scenario turns me on as well.

Both of us do whatever we can to make each anal session as satisfying as possible for each other. We believe this contributes to our powerful orgasms.

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It’s a common theme in My Secret Garden that many fantasies are not the kinds of things that we want to experience in real life. Friday writes, “No, rather than a frustrated cry for more real sex, I think that a lot of female fantasy is a psychic need for a more complete exploration of everything that was kept from them as girls, of everything that could be conceivably thought sexual.”

I think my initial attraction to anal came in part from a desire for more exploration, and after I didn’t get a full experience the first time I tried it, I returned to it because it in some sense had been “kept” from me. Similar with the anal only lifestyle more generally, I’m very curious about it, as a fantasy for sure. Whether I end up acting out that fantasy remains to be seen.

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Enjoy the journey of life. It’s awesome, and comes with many bumps along the way.

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Hmm, I’ve kind of missed this topic.

My wife says her fantasies were more of the survival kind. Whenever her ex wanted, or even demanded, sex she would rather fantasize about someone breaking in to fuck her then admit it was her ex fucking her. Since she’s with me that idea vanished and she has simple fantasies like that “being used ass to mouth all day” thing that we did. Or being assfucked by me with a dildo filling her pussy for that stuffed feeling. Now I come to think of this, we haven’t done this in years !

My fantasies were also survival systems when I was with my ex. Anal with her wouldn’t work well, she would prompt me to hurry and to pull out immidiatly after my orgasm. So in the rare occasions we had anal it wasn’t pleasurable. I then shifted to simply not asking her for anal anymore.

But anal sex was a dorment need in my being. I longed for it. Daily. So I developped a fantasy version of my ex in my mind, one who wanted to have her ass fucked all the time and loved to do ass to mouth. I masturbated compulsively to that image, while being certain I would never have that life. Fantasy helped me survive back then. I fantasized weird things to survive back then. Even things I was ashamed of later in life.

When I told my current wife about my biggest fantasy, ass to mouth, and she told me she had no problem to do that for me, it’s like suddenly all need to fantasize dissapeared.

I fantasized about a life with exclusive anal sex. Pussy unused. I live that life now.

I fantasized about going from ass to pussy. I’ve done that with her a lot, for years. I’ve done it the last time on the day I asked her to marry me and I’ve then promised I would never put my cock in her pussy again. That makes us strickly anal only since 16 april 2024.

I fantasized about a sexually accessable woman who would suck my cock whenever I asked for it. I have her now.

Whom I could assfuck without asking, just shove my cock up her ass and feel the pleasure. She’s all that. She wants that, she encouranges me to do that, to use her for my sexual pleasure.

With that woman in my life, every need to fantasize has become superfluous.