One of the recurring fantasies I have, regardless of whether or not anal, is for her to be dominant over me. To offer me to be used as she pleases (with some rules, tho if ever happens I may lift them progressively).
I’m not the type of person that really likes to command nor dominate over others, despite people somewhat finding a natural leader in me (I have to recognize, such power is intoxicating), so I’d like to give her full control as my way to show her how much I love her.
Do any other guys here also have this sort of fantasy? What I feel towards it is so abstract I can’t really put it in words.
I know the feeling, both in terms of wanting to dominate and (to a somewhat smaller degree) of wanting to be dominated.
Like you, I am often considered a leader in real life; but make no mistake, the quality that makes someone a good leader is not a domineering personality.
When it comes to leading, I am problem-oriented first and foremost, try my best to be impartial and welcome any and all suggestions. I may rarely … exercise authority over people, but only rarely: When their behaviour is disruptive to the shared goal or impacts other group members negatively.
If someone has a problem with me, I want to know and work to resolve it; I try my best, but I’m not perfect.
The reason I take control is because I can analyze problems, determine a course of action, and communicate this plan to others. Not because I am a gifted overlord. It just fits my skillset.
Now, when I dominate someone in bed, it’s completely different. This is something I enjoy, something that gives me pleasure — not the satisfaction of a job well done. I connect to like-minded people that way, it’s intimate conversation.
What you are experiencing, I think, is your sexual make-up being in some way BDSM-aligned. New studies suggest that this tendency is similar to sexual orientation in that some people simply are this way and some aren’t. It’s perfectly natural.
You can wish for things in the bedroom you’d never want in real life; many submissive women struggle at first if they are stout feminists in their everyday lives. How can they wish to be dominated by a man? Many men feel similar when they discover a submissive side: Many feel this wish would be emasculating, since obviously society tells us that it’s manly to take charge.
The nice thing about submission is letting go for a while. Someone else makes the decisions and cares for you and your pleasure. You can, and need to, let your guard down. You’re allowed to be vulnerable in a shared and intimate space. You can just be for a while, not decide what to do. So I can perfectly understand your wish.
Does this help, @iAmTheGunman ?