So you’re talking random subjects with the girl, than you go “fishing” and casually ask something to know how she feels about sex in the backdoor. Has anyone here tried this? I don’t know if this is a good method. Do you think girls tend to be more defensive with this kind of approach? For the ladies: how would you feel if a crush did that?
If the conversation drifted to sexually related topics, it seems fair to discuss but my last dating experience was 46 years ago.
Hope the ladies chime in, but I’d think a woman who loves anal would be happy to discuss with a guy she felt comfortable with in other discussions. In the other group several women said many men turn their head at anal sex. Hard to believe for nearly everyone in this group.
In this day and age the topic is becoming more aproachable I think.
In 1992 it came up with my then girlfriend while she told me her ex tried to assfuck her without lube and it was the worst experience of her life, she said. She also said no man should ever try that again. But when I replied I had a huge fantasybof assfucking a girl, she turned ship 180 degrees and told me she would try again with me.
And we did. Just not enough so she couldn’t get used to anal penetration.
So talking openly about it worked.
The two women after her brought up the subject themselves. Guess I’ve been lucky
Similar to Mr. Colt1911 (I’m a Smith & Weasel guy myself), it has been 42+ years since I have dated. My gut instinct is to go with the flow during conversation, but women are already cautious during the initial stages, in my opinion. If it were me, I’d let the relationship grow organically first.
Perhaps the woman has never tried it or has but does not want to admit it, especially early on. But if she develops feelings for the man, then there is a chance. When the intimacy starts, yes.
Think of it from her perspective; a stranger is bringing up something very private and intimate and I don’t know this guy.
My 2 cents.
Yes sure… Better do that when you already have been on a date with her.
I know people usually hate the “it depends” answers but it really does. I know some women who are REALLY open when talking about sex, and some who im not sure even like sex. If the person is either one of the super open types or maybe you guys are flirting bacl and forth and one of you presses buttons and it escolates and you try to pop the question in that way, you have to read their verbal and if in person, physical body language.
That said, i think its normal if you are dating someone in the hopes of having a partner to be up front. Let them know if you are more sexual, and also prefer a more sexual partner because its important to you. I mean i wouldnt make it my opening line but as you both get more comfortable in conversation and it gets more personal, then press the buttons and see where it all goes. If they are about it they will be receptive. If they arent then they probably arent your match.
Yes, there is a time and place. Recently I watched a video about how to bring up bdsm to a potential partner and it is not very successful to verbally bring it up early in the relationship. Many people have no reference point and only have their imagination to fill in the blanks, and gosh knows what that could include. I suspect it is similar with anal. This persons advice was to start slow and small physically, then talk about it afterwards. It is normal to explore in the bedroom and anal and bdsm are just two ways of exploring.
I remember spooning with my boyfriend, whispering into my boyfriends ear that I wanted anal sex. His jaw dropped and I giggled. He knew I was sexually adventurous but was not expecting that. We spent time talking about his concerns. He was an anal virgin and was worried about hurting me (he’s not that big)!! In the end he agreed to try it with me and the rest is history!
It is a normal question with the guys i’m dateing
but i’m just using sex dateing sites so maybe not the best example ![]()
If you’re dating, not hooking up, I wouldn’t discuss it during a second date either, unless you’re discussing sexual preferences.
As others have said, imagination will fill in the blanks, and if she knows little about anal, you’d probably scare her off.
Also, be careful not to make it sound like there would be the requirement of her liking anal for the relationship to go forward. Even if you only ever wanted anal, at a second or third date, you’d still have a lot more fundamental things to figure out about each other than sexual compatability. Not if you want kids or not, but the mushy, hard to describe interpersonal things. How you are when being with the other. How that feels. The vibe.
That being said, I can’t remember the last time I had a date with anyone who I didn’t know was into BDSM, so …
If I was ever to have a first date again, I would be unsure about anal however if things progressed and it felt right then yes! Absolutely! In fact I would be insisting on it. An anal orgasm and a mouthful of cum is the way to this girls heart lol