My girlfriend and I enjoy anal; I prefer it and love the idea of being anal only, she loves it and likes the idea of being anal only for periods of time, but doesn’t think that it’s a long term dynamic would work for her. That’s fine with me, I get plenty of incredible sex with her, and I love her and don’t have a problem with compromising. It should be noted that this was her initial reaction, and she’s made it clear she’s excited to see just how far down this rabbit hole she ends up going. I should mention we live 5-6 hrs apart and see each other about every other week.
I should also add that due to some negative reactions to condoms, she decided that we will be anal only for a few months before trying new condoms, so we can have some fun for a while without the risk of any more unpleasant experiences.
What I want advice with is what can I do to make our time being anal only as fulfilling and enjoyable as possible? Whatever we decide on as a compromise afterwards is fine with me, I just want to be sure she has a positive experience with the “trial run”.
Currently, what I am thinking about is the following, but please weigh in with any other ideas or feedback you have:
- I know she can orgasm from anal stimulation only, but we haven’t yet learned how to do it consistently. One of my goals is to be able to make her orgasm that way consistently.
- When I fail to make her orgasm with my dick, I get her to finish with my fingers via vaginal penetration, but similarly, I am interested in seeing if I can get her to orgasm from anal fingering.
- Should I experiment with avoiding vaginal/clitoral stimulation entirely? Would the denial of that additional pleasure make the focus on anal more enjoyable, or would that stimulation improve the experience overall?
- I have a snug plug and a Hush vibrating plug, I would like to have her use them around the house while she is is visiting. But I’m not sure if that would asking too much, or putting to much stress on her ass. The human body has its limits
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Without knowing your girlfriend, it’s hard to make recommendations.
I would ask her what part about anal only appeals to her: For example, does she like the idea of clitoral denial or is it just the sensation of anal sex she enjoys?
If it’s the former, not touching her clit/vagina during that time might be perfect, if it’s only the latter, it might be a huge turn off.
If I were you, I would ask all those questions of your girlfriend and plan together with her what would be best.
Good luck and have fun!
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I’d like to offer some ideas. More than 6 years ago, my wife went from 0-60 MPH when she discovered she wants only anal. The reason is because she never experienced orgasm during vaginal penetration. When she opened her mind to anal, she experienced at least one anal orgasm each session. She experienced clitoral orgasm during extended oral (sore tongue for me) or rubbing her clit (wear and tear on my thumb from making circular movements). This made her the perfect candidate for an anal only relationship. I learned much during the introduction of anal play and penetration. Here’s my thoughts:
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I know she can orgasm from anal stimulation only, but we haven’t yet learned how to do it consistently… - my advice is to focus attention on her ass extensively by licking, fingering, plugs, and anal play with toys help get her used to the feeling and may help her crave the play
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When I fail to make her orgasm with my dick, I get her to finish with my fingers via vaginal penetration… - she might want something more than fingers in her ass. When I finish before my wife has an anal orgasm, or she wants a second anal orgasm after I’ve finished in her ass, I use a dildo to help her achieve anal orgasm. Fingers are a “tease” but a dildo always does the trick. Ideally, something approximately the girth of your cock so she can associate that same feeling when your cock is in her ass
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Should I experiment with avoiding vaginal/clitoral stimulation entirely… - this has been the subject of great debate in this group. When we started our anal journey, my wife orgasmed from anal penetration only. A year or so into our anal journey, she tried a vibrator on her clit during anal penetration. This enhanced her experience and increased the intensity of her anal orgasms. Purists in this group reject the notion of including clitoral stimulation during anal penetration, but I don’t recommend that if it helps your girlfriend achieve anal orgasm. When my wife feels her anal orgasm approaching, she tosses the vibrator aside and enjoys the convulsive anal orgasm without the clit stimulation.
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I have a snug plug and a Hush vibrating plug, I would like to have her use them around the house while she is is visiting… - I suggest that she try these things when you get together but don’t push it. The benefit is that she will begin to experience the pleasure associated with plugs and toys in her ass
I tried to bold my answers to your questions but editing features are difficult to use on a mobile device.
Perhaps the most important advice I can offer is to be patient. Teasing her ass without much penetration, or penetrating with just a finger, helped my wife crave more. That craving, along with the eventual penetration of a larger object (your cock) helps her achieve anal orgasm, and sometimes very quickly following penetration.
I’d be happy to provide advice on toys and plugs as we’ve invested $$ over the years finding the stuff she likes best.
In summary, the more you can help her to achieve anal orgasm, the more likely it is she might prefer anal over vaginal penetration. I wish you both well on your journey.
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There are 3 primary parts to it:
1 - She enjoys the sensation of it. It feels very pleasurable and intense to have something in her ass, or if she’s just being filled without much stimulation she feels very comfortable.
2 - She loves being used by me for my pleasure, which is anal and oral. She’s happy having more anal than vaginal sex because she very much likes the dynamic, but at least for the moment I believe vaginal sex is still be her preference.
3 - After some really bad experiences with female birth control, she intends to never go on birth control again, so anal is the only way we will have raw sex until we want to have kids. And we both enjoy having sex without condoms.
Based on that and prior conversations we have had, I’m not exactly expecting, or even pushing for being anal only. I just want her anal only experiences with me to be as positive as possible so that whatever we decide is as satisfying as possible for both of us; since we happen to have a few months where we can experiment with being truly anal only, I figured I should be very thoughtful about how I approach it.
Kudos to you, you are being thoughtful, which is why your chances of success are very high.
One HUGE advantage on your side is she can orgasm from anal. One disadvantage is that you are 6 hours apart. Virtually all the successful anal only couples I read about live together.
I’ll also add to what Mr. Colt said about patience. Not only during each session, but long term too. A piece of advice I read on this forum is to press a little bit on each session and talk about it afterwards. Lastly, there is no such thing as too much rimming in my opinion. And give positive feedback if you like what your partner does.
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Wiser words were never spoken.