Just wanted to continue a thread from the old forum with a happy update.
The old forum was instrumental in my relationship moving to Anal Only.
When we were young, my wife and I watched an old porn (on VHS cassette because we r that old!). It was called “Backdoor to Hollywood” and the first anal scene absolutely fascinated me! The woman was eager and enjoying it, the guy obviously was. It was like a light switch going on in my brain and libido. From that point on I was obsessed with wanting to try anal. We’d been having sexual for awhile and she was GGG before that was a tern we knew existed.
We were totally unsure how to proceed and made all the mistakes (saliva as lube, rushing, etc,). Not sure why, but she persisted and we learned better ways. Anal became a regular part of our repertoire. Eventually our standard was to to PIV as a startup and finish with anal as a form of birth control.
Over the years we became more and more anal focused, I think we would have been described as “anal frequently” if I had to label us.
My obsession led me to seek out anal only porn. And those searches led me to the original forum, originally as a lurker then a poster, I eagerly shared topics with my wife who occasionally has posted as MrsCanassman.
Eventually the discussions gave me the courage to raise the idea of moving from “anal frequently. To “anal only” with her.
It was a lot of discussions abt what that meant, abt my attraction to her as a person, our relationship and commitment. She agreed to try it.
We are now more than 10 years AO and both of us say this was the best decision of our 30+ year together.
We rarely have any conflicts or disagreements, the sex is more frequent and the best sex of our lives.
I hope that this is helpful or hopeful to others. As others have commented, anal only partners are often moved that way over time and based on relationships, rather than discovered.
I remmeber reading your story on the other forum and thinking “I wish I would be able to say I led an anal only life for so many years. And here I am in my 3rd year, while being absolutely sure we will stay anal only as long as we live.
I too remember your story/stories on the other forum. It is very inspiring and you are very fortunate. You give hope to us who love anal but are not anal only.
Time for another update - spurred on by a conversation with my wife. It was post sex - we had both been quite tired from our respective long and stressful work days and had been talking about whether we were too tired for sex. She went to bed but I had a few tasks still to do so followed about an hour or so later. I found her still awake and proceeded to initiate sex.
Afterwards we were in that state of post-coital bliss and she asked if I noticed that we had been having even more sex than usual lately - I said that I had. She told me she felt much more libidinous these days and was open for sex at any time (almost any time, our teen daughter still lives with us). That even if she was tired, or even asleep, she wanted me to wake her (gently) and she would be ready. The only prep we do is that she ensures she has a bowel movement if needed - we own a bidet as well - and we never have any “dirty” encounters. She said she felt more in love with me than ever before, and that she appreciated my affection, love, and the sex we had.
We always had a fair amount of sex, and it varied based on real world factors like parenting, work, illness, etc. We have been going through a bit of a “second honeymoon” phase these days with lots of love languages, affection, time spend together, and of course, sex.
She said she loved our sex life and felt that going anal only had transformed sex for her and despite some initial confusion she had had when I proposed the idea years ago - not only had no regrets but was more happy sexually than ever. I have always been concerned that my wife has agreed to an anal only life for me - even though she repeatedly has stated how much she loves it. I asked her to tell me more. She explained that she always liked sex, but that she followed the societal norm - i.e. vaginal sex, oral sex as the defaults. We both have big libidos and are explorative, so when we began anal it was fun and naughty, but was a rare thing. Over the years I assumed she was mostly following my lead as the frequency of anal grew. Some years ago she let me in on one of her secrets, that while I was out of town on business she had taken to fucking her own ass with a dildo she owned. However, this evening she let me know that vaginal had always been “ok” - it felt nice, but she had trouble orgasming that way - which I knew and why I had also built up my skills in cunnilungus to ensure she was satisfied as well as I was. But now she shared that she truly loved anal in a way that vaginal never was able to live up to. She learned to cum from anal, she prefers to play with her nipples or hold me as I thrust into her, and does not clitoral stimulation. Her orgasms are much more frequent and easily obtained than before, they are much stronger - I typically have to push hard when she cums and the muscle spasms are intense - on a couple of occassions I have been pushed right out. They last longer and are way more intense than others. As I noted in a different thread, she is a gusher as well. Her pussy drools like crazy even though it never gets penetrated. When I first mentioned going anal only she had expressed concern that I was rejected her femininity, but she now realizes what she was struggling with was a society norm that associates being female with the vagina (which absolutely is logical) and that she now feels that this is completely normal for us, that her feminine identity is intact and even more firm with the attention she receives from me, that our sex life is the best it’s ever been - and although we keep saying that, it seems to just keep getting better and better year after year - but that’s really the result of our open communication, acceptance, and resulting deeply emotional intimacy. She had also come to the decision that she wanted sex more often, and wanted to tell me that even when we were tired it was worth having at least a “quickie”. That the feeling was so good, that it kept us connected intimately and emotionally, and was a reliever of stress - that the pros out weighed any cons like putting in the effort. She said it was OK if she did not orgasm either, that the connection was a major part of the experience as well.
During this conversation I shared my feelings as well, which pretty well mirrored a lot of hers. Also my observations, and assumptions - we both did really. I let her know how much I appreciated her telling me all of this, as I have held that slight worry that this was all for my benefit and my irrational belief that if that was true that at some time she might say “no more”. She assured me that was completely untrue and that she could never live without anal. She said she was essentially opening the door to a “Free Use” relationship. I want to have more discussions about this concept but she says she trusts me - she knows I would not demand something at a time that would be inappropriate.
I feel like the luckiest man alive.
I can relate to your awesome post. Our experiences are nearly identical except we’re older than you and your wife, and we discovered anal in our early 60’s.
We both knew it was all we wanted the first time I penetrated her and she had an anal orgasm. I sometimes felt inadequate because she couldn’t orgasm during vaginal penetration. I also learned how to pleasure a woman with my mouth, and she enjoyed rimming long before we started anal sex. Birth control meds stunted her libido, so I would rub her clit with my thumb until she achieved a clitoral orgasm. The only arthritis I have is in my right thumb joint which wore out after making circular movements on her clit for 20+ minutes before she could come. I can live with this sexually induced injury!
Anal only has brought us closer as well. We’ve always loved each other but this strong sexual connection has only increased our love for each other. As a man, it is so empowering to know I can make my wife cum when we make love. I could write, as nauseam, how it stimulates all the senses to an unparalleled level. I miss the gushing but not going to lose sleep over it. The first time she gushed (in missionary) with me in her ass I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. She was an automatic lube dispenser.
Experiences like yours are an inspiration to others seeking the same. I hope my story inspires others to know an active sex life doesn’t have to end after 60. Not surprisingly, both of us are working even harder to stay fit and healthy so we can extend this awesome experience as long as possible. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks so much for sharing this, it’s nice to hear about people continuing to explore their love for each other long into their relationships.
Your post is also helping me think through some of my own feelings about exploring anal pleasure. I’ve always been a little embarrassed about my desire to explore butt stuff, and I think your wife’s descriptions about fearing a rejection of her femininity come close to describing what I’ve felt in the past. I felt… I don’t know…embarrassed for wanting to explore anal because it’s not appropriately “delicate” and “feminine”. Or something. I’m not really sure, but your description of your wife’s worries, and overcoming them, really struck a chord with me. So thank you.
Life is too short to worry about preconceived notions of what should and shouldn’t be acceptable.