Anal is becoming more popular but is it that popular that you could now expect it first date? 
It has been a long time since I’ve been on a first date but I wonder what the mood is like out there. I do remember though my first anal partner, even though we didn’t have sex the first time we met she didn’t mind me fingering her arse.
Does any kind of mood matter more than what your partner is into?
Years ago, I met a girl online, and after talking to her for a while, I took her out for a hot chocolate. After talking for for a bit and taking a walk, we went our separate way without so much as sharing a kiss.
Next time, she came to visit me in my flat. She had asked if I’d like for her to bring homemade muffins along. Of course I said yes.
I, in turn, being the gentleman that I am, asked her to arrive plugged. She wore that plug for the whole trip (~1:30h), brought another two (one bigger, one smaller) and a flogger. She was ordered to strip before she was allowed to eat one of the muffins (she complied of course, after some shyness and hesitation). She was then thoroughly spanked, then flogged (with her own flogger and my three), then finally caned, leaving some nice marks.
After a small break, I replaced her medium sized plug with the large one (she had never worn it before, and I still remember the mewling, lustful sound she made when it slipped in), spanked her some more, tied her up with rope, fucked her pussy, and then her ass.
After some aftercare, cuddling, water and coffee, I took her home. We’re still friends to this day, but never “dated” in the stricter sense.
There’s also someone I dated for a year before we even hugged. We had our 7th anniversary in January.
Let me put it another way: Would you ever say to someone “come on, let me fuck your ass, it’s 2025” and seriously expect that she’d be into it?
Since you put it like that 
the thought never occurred to me. I am pretty sure even in a drunken state I would never be putting forward a proposition like that couched in those words.
The question is more about just how popular anal has become. I had read a study somewhere, a couple of years ago, that 1 in 2 women have tried anal, which was up from something like 1 in 3 probably 20 years ago.
Hm, yeah, I still think individual preferences will always be more important than trends. You’re not dating the median woman, you’re dating a woman.
Apart from that, I couldn’t even tell you if a kiss on the first date is expected, I don’t think we have the same cultural background.
It is true anal is becoming more accepted. Recently I was reading an article about oral sex on webmd.com and it mentioned anal sex three (3) times, like it was normal. Boy do I wish that were the case when I was a younger person.
However, after “discovering” anal at about 50, it has changed my life and deepened my relationship. It is something much stronger and more life changing than I imagined. So much so that I recommend nobody ever have anal on a first date, let alone the first month or six, until both parties have really learned about each other. Same with vaginal sex, but especially anal. It is definitely not for casual dating. I do not believe in conspiracies or bigfoot or spooks or that stuff. However, please tread lightly in this area, it is life changing.
I’ve never had anal on a first date but had oral on every single one. I guess it was what I was comfortable with. If I was to have a first date again and I trust the man then I would love to try. The intimacy may be a baptism of fire but if he’s the right guy then yes.
Oh that’s a little bit passive agressive, isn’t it? The insinuation being because of this I do not understand your POV. I understand it completely, but I’m the epidemiologist talking about “a condition” and you are the doctor talking about treatment of an individual patient. Both views valid, and I can assure you this is not about expecting anything. I am not “dating” as such. That is a world I left long ago.
Anal first date, while perhaps sounding flippant, would be an objective measurement (compared with sex on all first dates of course) that might tell us just how accepted anal sex has become. Consent, no duress, no coersion, all implied into any such interaction.
I didn’t mean to sound passive aggressive. With the second paragraph you quoted, I wanted to come back to the topic you asked about originally.
And, well, my country doesn’t have a dating culture per se, so instead of saying that you can’t get my point of view, I wanted to express that I might be ill-equipped to answer your question 
Well glory be, you do sound interesting now! I can only guess, probably incorrectly, where you’re from. I suppose it is a place where marriages are arranged. How does one go from there to being a dom? A way to rebel perhaps. I’m sure it would be a fascinating journey to recount some time.
No no, nothing like this.
Dating happens where I come from, but there’s no … guidelines as to when you kiss, when you have sex, that sort of thing. You get to know people and if you feel good about it, you do more. But when and how much, that’s totally up to you.
You all: (talking forms of sex on a first date)
Me: first date was at a coffee shop where he burned his mouth on boiling hot tea. Second date was a movie and we nearly got lost getting there. I don’t think we held hands until we’d been going out four or five months… Then we decided we were getting married, we had a comically awful first kiss, and started doing anal play and various forms of fingering before he officially proposed. 
Hmmm but did you do it because you wanted to do it or because you felt some sexual contact was required of you?
I really find the way sexual biographies go fascinating 
If there’s a take away, either there is no “normal”, or all the people with great sex lives today go a very unique road to get there.
One that doesn’t go from kissing to fingering to oral to vaginal to marriage, that is.
My friend and her husband did not have sex in any form before they got married. They dated for nearly 3 years with nothing more than a kiss on the lips (no tongues)!
Good for them! I didn’t have that level of self restraint… Even though that’s pretty much how I was raised to think these things should go… I was such a rebel… 
A good Christian upbringing… yes we were all raised to believe this, even though it was a complete fiction that people don’t have sex before they are married and that it was the “norm”. This might be the case for other religions too but I can only speak for my experience. Though I am fortunate that I grew up in a secular community largely and my religious community was within that. What that meant was that contraception was available to young people that wanted it from at 16 at least. This might have meant sexual activity started younger but with much less teen pregnancy.
This may have had the effect of delaying discovery of anal until later! Though I have to say at that age I had heard about it but the thought of it wasn’t very appealing. I think anal has to be a sensory discovery not a verbal one.
As for first dates, I wasn’t really thinking about the first date in one’s life, more first dates for people who are already sexually active and experienced. You know; past all that awkwardness.
As most can attest, anal takes a lot of trust from the receiver. Women are more cautious by nature anyway, but especially about intimate issues. In my opinion, until that trust can be developed, anal must wait, even with experienced partners.
On the old site, someone wrote something like, “if the heart says yes, the ass will say yes”. The heart is rarely given on the first date.
I can agree with that to a point. I had a few first dates from the age of 16 and they all resulted in me giving oral pleasure. If I was to have a new relationship and first date I would insist on oral and anal pleasure. If he was no good at either it wouldn’t be a good start!!