Hi everyone!
We’ve noticed a pattern of new users joining, being active and enthusiastic in their intro post, engaging some more and then disappearing.
We’d love to hear from you why that is and if you have suggestions or wishes what we could change so the forum is more engaging for everyone.
So, feel free to share any ideas, wishes or even grievances if there are any!
Back when forums were still hot, I was on a Honda forum which had some kind of public chat running which refreshed daily.
It was used a lot. Random thoughts or facebook like status things. “Lying in bed still, too lazy to get up”
It was one of the most used features on that forum cause most was information based with lots of how to questions.
The old site had that very feature but used Discord. Apple iOS stopped supporting adult forums in Discord and since I only post on social media using my iPhone, I no longer have access. I don’t know if that Discord site exists anymore, but it was VERY active with wide ranging topics. I met an anal only lesbian from Texas who enjoyed discussing firearms. She was a hoot.
Hi, I’m back again.
One of my main reasons is… well, I have nothing else to talk about that I haven’t said yet or that fits the main topic of the forum. Things haven’t changed for me, and thus I still have no experience, recommendation or things to talk about. Also, university slowly shifts my focus (I mean, anything can change my focus tbh).
It’s not like my absence went noticed, but I guess that’s the reason most enter and then leave: they said everything they had to say.
Welcome back. I’m here because I enjoy engaging with others in a very specific and personal subject. In that sense, there is always something to discuss and respond to. It’s likely all of us have fantasies yet to be satisfied but there’s no reason we can’t discuss them.
I find this vert confusing. I’d like the “reply link” to always show. it’s like a symbol to distinguish whether a post is a reply to a sub post, or to the main post.
Alright, that sounds like a valid point 
So, I have changed the settings for this to always show reply link even if the post you are replying to is above yours.
Thanks. This helps. I’m a tech challenged Boomer and thought I screwed up my settings.
In reply to the original question (i.e. why do people sign up and then disappear)…
I am somewhat an example of this behavior. When I first signed up, I was more involved. Over a period of perhaps one month, I read every posting. I went through every thread, every category, etc. I got involved in a few conversations where I felt I might have something to contribute or I had a question. I posted new threads a couple/few times.
However, after that period of time, the new-ness wore off. After a while, there was not enough additional, completely new postings (not just repeats of previous subjects, etc.) to hold my interest. I think that is probably very natural in a low-volume forum such as this.
Also, and I am sorry to say this, I got tired of hearing some folks repeating stories/histories several times – though I am very sure those postings were useful and relevant to more recent members.
I also tired of the religious discussions. I know that’s my problem; I know I can just go on to a different thread, which is what I eventually started doing. (Just because something is there does not mean I “have to” read every word.)
Also, in my particular case, while my wife and I have evolved into anal-only as many here have, I (a man) also have my solo interests in solo anal (receiving) activities with toys and in my wife fisting me. I was originally hoping that I might encounter a few discussions along that line (solo anal, anal fisting, etc.), but I discovered that these particular types of activities are not shared by many (if any?) members (other than plugging related to females receiving anal). So, while I do enjoy the variety of postings about female-receiving-penis anal activities, I miss the possibility for broader anal discussions.
As they say, it is what it is. I am not suggesting that this forum should change or expand its scope. It is fine as it is. I can seek discussions of other types of subjects elsewhere. However, as a low-volume forum, there will always be an issue with folks dropping out because there are not enough new and different discussions.
After going quiet for about a couple months, I have started checking in again, every few days. I have been catching up on and enjoying the more recent posts.
BTW, I am very clear that this is not a dating site and I am not seeking (and I hope I never will be) dating. However, I think that it would interesting and appropriate to have more discussions of HOW folks who are seeking anal-only dating / relationship opportunities would go about that these days. (If I were in the dating mode, I certainly would NOT subscribe to the “take your chances and see if anal-only will develop in a few years” type of strategy – that is not a strategy, that is “hopes and prayers”.) “Stuff happens” and any of us might again, at any time, find ourselves partner-less. I think openness to this subject could hold the interest of more folks.
Lastly, the mods are doing a great job – bless them. Either an additional duty for the mods and/or for folks I will call “spark plugs”, might be to “create” discussions. Intentionally, and with some regularity, start a thread/topic that is a little different than has been discussed in the last (??? quantity) of months as a vehicle to heighten the interest of old and new members and to promote conversation. The more conversation there is, the greater the chance that newer members will get more deeply involved and stay involved for longer.
Thanks for everything that everybody has done. I will stay tuned and I will contribute topics from time to time as they occur to me.
Thank you for your input! What you describe jives with what I though was the common behaviour of new members.
As for the spark plug idea: That would be possible, but: I would argue it’s far more effective if people like you start the topics they find missing. I’m not sharing much of my personal life as that would make me easily identifiable for the right (or wrong) people. Hence it’s easier for me to reply to posts than to create them from scratch. Also, I’m all for more posts on male solo play.
As for dating: Yes, I understand where you’re coming from. This might be a good topic for a poll, perhaps. I agree that the approach to finding an anal only partner laid out here doesn’t sound appealing or practical, but it makes sense from my personal experience, my knowledge of psycho-sexual dynamics and seems the only approach that has ever worked for people here.
That being said, I’ve only dated cis women and am a cis guy, and all of this happened within the bdsm community. Experiences may vary among people and especially in other communities.
I know I am one of those who repeated too much. At some point I stopped doing it because I even annoyed myself.
But I also start many topics, if which some don’t get much replies at all. Everytime I try something new, which seems interesting to me, no one replies.
As for the topic of dating with an anal only relationship in mind. A man like me can’t give any usefull info on that topic, cause I didn’t even know anal only was a thing untill I was already 90% into anal sex with my (then girlfriend) wife. I wouldn’t know how to give any insight on the topic.
That doesn’t mean that single people can’t create (and participate in) such a topic. Who knows what wisdom will be shared.
Great post. Taking a sabbatical gave you time to collect your thoughts for this post. Because of what I do for a living, I participate in this forum to share what I’ve learned in an effort to help those new to the anal lifestyle. That’s why I enjoy this group as it does tend to attract those who are new to,or curious about, anal.
There’s an ebb and flow to many unique interest groups in social media. Because of my OCD, I check in on this group, and others I’m part of, frequently. I wouldn’t be overly concerned about the cadence of the group as it is what it is. What keeps me coming back is a desire for the opportunity to contribute in a positive way, particularly for those new to, or curious about, the lifestyle.
I plead guilty to repeating my story, but when I do, it’s to provide context to someone who may be struggling to enjoy the experience with their partner. In my particular situation, if a couple later in life can discover the incredible pleasure associated with anal sex, I want others to know there’s a chance they can experience the same pleasure. I also like to share what I’ve found can make a woman more accepting of anal play and penetration.
Kudos to those involved in creating the group on this new platform and for taking the time to moderate discussions. It also helps feed my OCD.