Is a relationship with a trans girl straight?

I just read this on Facebook:

I think a relationship with a post op trans girl can be considered straight. But pre op you need to be a special kind of straight. IMO

So a question for the straight men on this forum, read the title and share your vision please.

I’m not exactly straight, but is it important for what you’re doing to be straight if it feels right for you?

You’re answering a question I didn’t ask. :wink:

My questions is a simple yes or no one. Nothing special.

Not all questions can be answered with a yes or a no, many require context.
And in a group that says anal only excludes vaginal sex, then I don’t see the issue. Trans women are women whether pre or post op. And if sex meant anal, I think that might be appealing for many men in the AO community.
So a man fucking a woman seems to be the definition of straight. Don’t see the issue.
Note that people can sleep with who they want,man’s conversely don’t have to sleep with someone they don’t want to.

So you could have just aswered yes :man_shrugging:t2:

Defeats the purpose of a forum as an exchange of ideas and has no context. Always been a chatted and explainer.

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Ok, explaination.

So before I had a gorgeous anal only woman in my life, my urge for anal was too strong for the women I was with previously.

The second woman even said I was simply gay for wanting her asshole more then her pussy.

So I started looking up pre op transgirls anal sex and noticed it aroused me because they could only offer the good fuckhole. So a transgirl seemed like a great choice to start an anal only relationship with.

But I also noticed I reacted to their dick size and if their dick was active. An errect, big dick, was a turn off for me. And a limp, tiny dick was a turn on. So I knew that a pre op transgirl would only work for me if she had an inactive dick that just sat there, useless.

Post op I will probably just consider her a girl, so no need to get into that. A girl who will most likely take it up the ass anyway, cause I read that most manmade pussies aren’t even fit for sex.

In an analonly community, post op transgirls can be just what the men are looking for.

Fast forward to now having an analonly relationship with a gorgeous woman, I changed my mind. I think any dick, no matter how small, will be a turnoff to me. Even if I don’t want to fuck it, I really love looking at her pretty, unused pussy. I love missionairy for that perticular reason.

I would probable do only doggy with a girl who has a dick. And that wouldn’t be fair to her.

So I don’t consider a relationship with a pre op trans girl as straight. Not gay either. It’s something special.

With that backstory, I’m even more curious why you just wanted yes or no answers from the forum. I honestly don’t understand.

It’s like a poll. I prefer thinking in black and white instead of greyscales. It’s in my nature.

But your own attitude towards the question has changed over the course of your life, as you’ve described. What would you gain from a weighted average in this forum that either agrees with your current view or your older one?

I don’t see this as something weighty. Just curious how other men see it, whom consider themselves straight.

Yes, I consider it straight. I see transwomen as women whether they are pre-op or post-op.

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Hi - I’ve been looking at this thread for a few days and wondering how to answer it. As a member of the LGBT sector, I have know many people of all identities and interests. I do want my response to be seen as respectful, but in all honesty if you think that you might be saying to someone “I’m only with you due to desperation, even though I’m repulsed by bits of your anatomy” then that isn’t really any kind of a relationship, is it? I don’t even know what it is… Perhaps you might try to think about who you actually do want to be with, rather than looking at it from that starting point…
Oh, and to answer your initial question - would I see a relationship with a trans girl as straight? (yes I have had one) Then my answer is an emphatic “NO” - it was a LESBIAN relationship, because she was a woman, like me! Trans women are women, and trans men are men - they always have been - they are just escaping from a false role forced upon them by cruel fate and social pressure…
Hope that this helps!

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I never said, nor meant to say male bits would repulse me.

I only know transsexual people from porn and in porn it get’s confusing as hell.

Or you will see transgirls with a hardon, a lot bigger then mine, being sucked by her partner of fucking her partner in the ass. Either if that partner is male or female.

Or you see the more submissive version with a transgirl being assfucked hard, while her cock seems useless and limp and her partner being dominant and masculine.

So here I am, in a community where I hope to get the right aswers to a question I’ve been asking myself for years.

And to me, a girl with a cock isn’t a real girl. That’s how I see it and I feel like I have every right to feel like this about it without judgement.

Even my girlfriend says she doesn’t understand why a man, who want to be a woman, would keep her cock intact unless it’s for sensational reasons. She says if you want to be a woman, that cock would be the first you want to go.

Well…. I hate to say it but perhaps spend a little less time looking at porn, and a little more time looking at people…?
Please remember that the girls you see in porn are there just to earn money (Often as the only way to find enough cash for surgery or just for the very substantial incidental expenses). They act out the roles that are required of them for the video - based upon what paying customers want to see - which will have nothing to do with their real lives or preferences… I’ve known these girls - I’ve heard what they had to say about it.
Once they have had surgery to remove the unwanted bits, their porn earning power will reduce to less than a tenth of what it was before…
What you see in porn is not the same thing as the real world - not by a very long way…
And while it is up to every individual to chose to do what they want, when they want - the waiting list for any kind of treatment is in years - many years - they only have any control of the timescale if they have the many tens of thousands of pounds that it takes to go privately…
I think (remembering conversations) that just the basic surgery is around £30k if they go privately - or the NHS route can take up to 10 years (and it’s not a waste of HNS money as some think - because they are not only happier afterwards, but also more creative workers, earning more money and paying taxes instead of previously being miserable and commonly spending a lot of time on Benefits) Damn - you can tell that I’ve done my shift in political activism - so sorry!

:flushed:

Is sexchange surgery that expensive ?

As I said. I don’t nnow any trans person in real life. So it’s kind of unfair blaming me for only knowing it from porn. And that was many years ago. My porn watching became to a full stop when I found a woman who was into anal as much as me.

Still, I don’t see how this changes my initial question.

I think you can see from Annie’s first answer that it’s a bit of a difficult question to answer. If you’re “in the know” you don’t want to go into a huge rant and conclude with, to exaggerate, “and this is why your question is stupid and your ideas are wrong”. It’s not a stupid question, of course, and how are you to know all these things if you’ve never been exposed to them. Plus, not all trans or queer people agree with each other on these matters either, so … yeah. It’s complicated.

As for my two cents: The term “straight” makes very little sense in today’s time. Consider this: Antiquity did not have the concept at all; in Greece, you could fuck whoever you wanted, people didn’t care, so long as you did the fucking, not getting fucked (as a man, of course). Much the same in Rome, where giving oral was viewed as bad (as you dirtied your orator’s mouth, so to speak), but if you got head, it didn’t matter from whom. Plus, there’s a reason you have stories of people having traits of both sexes in ancient myths. Because such people have always been born and are still being born, but today, we still rarely hear of them.

Why’s that? Christianity came along and became the dominant religion. Sex wasn’t for pleasure any more, but to create offspring. So sexual acts between anything but men and women (this being, of course, vaginal sex in the bonds of matrimony) were viewed as wrong, because the Christian god is a builder who created things for a purpose (in this case men, women, and NOTHING in between). THEN you need to label those people who do things you don’t like, and voila, the homosexual is born. And ironically, you can’t have “straight people” without “homosexual people” as categories, like you can’t have light without dark, or cis without trans. My point is not that there weren’t men who were solely attracted to women before the term homosexual came into use, my point is that the category didn’t exist, you just had people. If you have heterosexuals and homosexuals, you also need clear lines between men and women. And nothing in between, because it would confuse your categories.

Add on top of that modern medicine, and suddenly, children born who were neither this nor that (intersex is a generally accepted term) were quietly assigned a “proper” sex. Via scalpel and operation. There’s a saying about these procedures: Less than one centimeter: A girl. More than three centimeters: A boy. Everything else: A problem. Parents weren’t even asked, and didn’t even know what happened to their children. Some doctors decided which was the easiest way to make a boy or a girl out of such “problems”, mutilating their perfectly healthy bodies in the process. Nature is much more complicated than “there are boys and girls”. But how does all this relate to trans people?

Well, they, too, don’t fit into those neat little boxes. Not everyone born with a penis feels good acting like society expects people with penises to act. Or people with vulvae, etc …In fact, for quite a number of people it’s sickening to act this way, or be addressed in a certain way, like Annie has pointed out. It’s not a fun life without the proper care.

From a point of view that posits that there are two sexes, period, this is problematic, just as intersex people are. Your body doesn’t make you a woman, or a man, but something happening in your head? There are people who stand between man and woman? What’s even going on?

I think “straight” makes a lot of sense as the opposite to “homosexual”, and maybe still if you throw in “bisexual”. But consider, just as a hypothetical example, a person being born intersex, let’s call them Alex, who does not get any kind of gender affirming surgery after birth. Alex doesn’t feel either as a boy or a girl, so they live as non-binary person. At age 16, they fall in love with a cis girl called Mary, and Mary falls in love with them. You can’t say this is a straight relationship, as no male person is involved, can you?
Anyway, they’re happy together and stay together. At age 21, Alex’ feelings towards their gender expression change and they decide to live as a man (i.e. act like a man acts because it feels natural and right to them at this point); however, as he is happy with his genitals, whatever they may look like, he doesn’t get an operation. Mary supports Alex, and they stay together. Is the relationship straight now? You could argue that yes, it is, because Alex now identifies as a man who is in love with a woman. You could say the people involved are still the same, so how could the nature of the relationship change?
Five years pass and Mary discovers she is trans. She transitions and now calls himself Martin. Alex stays together with Martin. Has Alex become gay now because of a change in another person? Is the relationship that might have been straight a homosexual one now? Or are we looking at something else all together?

I mean, you can always argue along these lines or similar ones. You can say “trans women are women”, and I would agree, but I still feel like our terminology for relationships is outdated in a way. Like wanting to know exactly what kind of Jazz King Crimson are playing. The existence of King Crimson doesn’t make Jazz classification wrong, nor is listening to Dixieland bad if King Crimson exists, but we need a different way to communicate about these things if we want to understand each other.